Category Archives: Thailand

Pattaya Always Pattaya

Back in the 1970s Miami Beach was a neglected beach resort populated by ancient retirees in moldy art-deco apartment buildings. Elderly snowbird males dine at Wolfie’s Deli sporting Sta-press shirts, plaid trousers, and gleaming white shoes. Attired in their polyester finery these septuagenarians trolled Miami Beach for blue-haired widows with a little extra income. The […]

Fried Chicken Feets

White people don’t eat chicken feet. Ham Hocks or Eisbein might be tasty for Germans and other Aryan races, but chicken feet have never graced the menus of Mickey Ds, although there is no telling what part of the chicken KFC doesn’t use in their nuggets. Chicken feet are for poor people from the Deep […]

The Thai Etiquette Of Hands

When greeting a Thai male or female, a westerner will stick out his hand. The smiling Thai will offer a wilted bundle of fingers. The farang grasping this imitation of a dead octopus will mistake the weakness of the grip as an exhibition of effeminate behavior. They couldn’t be more wrong. Thai men are vicious […]

Thai National Anthem or Phleng Chat Thai

I haven’t been to a Thai movie theater in ages, but like a baseball game in the States the cinemas play the Thai National Anthem before any feature film. Here are the words. Bring them with you to sing in English, although you probably will get arrested for lese majeste. Thailand is the unity of […]

JAI YEN MAI by Peter Nolan Smith

Several years ago on Boxing Day my daughter was playing on our soi in Pattaya. A pick-up roared down the street like the driver had murdered his wife and was bell-bent for the border. From my perspective the bumper came too close to my little precious daughter and I jumped on my scooter to chase […]