July 16, 1978 – Providence – Journal Entry

Centuries are divided into decades. Ten Year stretches. This 20th Century began with European global domination, except for Tibet, Thailand, Ethiopia, and the Ottoman Empire. The flags of Russia, England, France, Germany, Holland, Belgium, Denmark, Spain, Portugal, Italy and the Vatican flew over conquered peoples, but the status quo was slipping from the grasp of monarchs. The 1905 Russian Revolution signaled the end to the Romanov Dynasty. Te Slavs fought for their freedom from the Turks and Austrians. The Irish seethed under British rule. This has been the American Century, but Vietnam taught us that we ain’t all that.

On a train to Boston.

Amtrak is the third worst way to travel. The bus and hitching are #2 and #1. The Greyhound bus seats are designed for corpses and they never complain. Hitching is almost impossible with the cops harassing travelers and drivers are fearful of murderous hippies.


Amtrak stop.

A black boy, Maurice, fakes retching. His older brother plays possum and starts snoring. Their older sister tells him to be quiet. He remains in the snoring state. Ann wants off the train. She is motion sick and needs fresh air.

Another forty minutes and the train will arrive at Back Bay. These past two months I have spent little time in New York, being spread across the East Coast. This is Ann’s third trip north. I too will be glad to get off the train.

Ann says, “I think my breasts are getting smaller.”

I check them. “They are the same size as always.”

“I wish I had bigger.”

“Not me, I like them small.”

“Because then you think you’re fucking a boy.”


My sexual urges have shut down for homos. I get my most satisfaction from females. Actually gay men were only a substitute for women. Some some reason picking up females was difficult for me. Now I am ease. At least whenever Ann is not around, but I don’t need to be promiscuous with her in my life. Last night I dream of Ann being assaulted by my past girlfriends turned fiends and I fucked them all in the dream. Faceless women licking my balls and asshole, as I fuck Ann.

The dream is a product of last night’s too many beers at CBGBs.

I even forgot that I need to fuck.

Foto Old Union Station – Providence