If Jesus Came To My House

According to the New Testament Jesus was crucified by the Romans atop Calvary. His apostles entombed their Messiah in a cave. His mother and Mary Magdalene mourned his death. The High Priests of Judah celebrated the demise of another troublemaker. Only Jesus didn’t die easy.

On the third day the Son of Joseph supposedly rose from the dead.

Fifty days later He assumed divinity and Christians have worshipped the Living Christ for thousands of years.

IF JESUS CAME TO MY HOUSE by Joan G. Thomas was a popular Catholic School book during the 1960s.

As an atheist I read it to discover the thoughts of my enemy.

It wasn’t a bad book, although Jesus never cooked anything or performed any miracles.

Gods don’t have to work.

Just like rich people.

Both worry about idle hands and the Church came out a handbook to prevent Catholic schoolboys from masturbation.

According to the Vatican 2352 masturbation is to be understood as the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. “Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action. The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason, outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose.” For here sexual pleasure is sought outside of “the sexual relationship which is demanded by the moral order and in which the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love is achieved.

True love.

The Church has never acknowledged true temptation other than Jesus’ trails before Satan, where he refused the wilds of this world.

However Jesus saw half-man.

God is all-seeing, so Jesus is half-seeing.

And temptation is everywhere.

God knows where too.

Like I said, “Thankfully I’m an atheist.”

And if there ain’t no God, then God knows nothing.

Thankfully all my temptations are left in the past.

But not the need to masturbate.

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