Premmie Opps

Yesterday’s San Diego experienced a massive premature pyrotechnic premmie.

Premmie is a porno term for a male lead’s miscalculated timing for the money shot otherwise known as rapid ejaculation, rapid climax, premature climax, or early ejaculation which occurs according to Masters and Johnson more than 50% of coitus between a man and a woman. Kinsey discovered that nearly 75% of men ejaculate within two minutes of entry. Wikipedia reports that current evidence supports an average intravaginal ejaculation latency time (IELT) of six and a half minutes in 18-30 year olds.

All my life I have suffered from the rare condition of leatheritis, which delays my climax way beyond the happy ending of my female partner, who after a hysterical half-hour of joyous puddling pray for my orgasm with the fervency of a nun seeking union with Jesus. Finally I give up on reaching the the finish line and fake an orgasm.

“I didn’t feel anything.” The woman will say after I roll off her.

“It was a dry shot.” I refer to the oilman’s failed drilling.

“Okay.” The woman will accept the explanation, since failing to cum on the male’s part is seen as a failure of their allure.

In truth there is nothing wrong with IELT, for as the great philosopher Pascha Ray stated at the Phnom Penh Sex Monger Convention, “As long as you get it in, it’s not premature.”

So no worries for quick shooter, if it was good for you, then it was good for you.

As for her.

Just give her a hug.

Women prefer intimacy to sex, right?

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