Category Archives: Heaven

Happy Sabaii Sabaii Happy by Peter Nolan Smith

In 1972 Bhutan’s King Jigme Singye Wangchuck attempted to reform his country’s feudal economy on a Buddhist spiritual level rather than a capitalistic model. To best judge his efforts the king created a Gross Domestic Happiness Index based on life satisfaction, life expectancy at birth, and ecological footprint per capita. The Happy Planet Index placed […]

Holidays Inferno

A holy Iman dies in peace. He is astounded to be welcomed by St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. “Sorry about the no 72 virgins. In this heaven we spend our days in the glory of God, who is non-denominational. You’ll meet the truly blessed evolving into the truly blissed.” The Iman accepts this heaven […]

Rent-Free Hell

Yesterday on the C train between Hoyt-Schmmerhorn and Lafayette Street a young man was preaching about the wrath of his lord. “God loves his flock, but hates a sinner. All you sinners will have a special place of torment in Hell.” He glared about the subway car like Josef Mengele, the SS Angel of Death […]

No Tattoos in Heaven

After my best friend drowned in Sebago Lake in 1960, I became a non-believer. Chaney was a good boy and no God would have let him die. My atheism was a secret. I was an altar boy at Sunday Mass. My mother prayed that I might take the cloth as a priest or at the […]

Heaven On This Earth

Heaven is where the police are Thai, the chefs are Mexican, the mechanics are Robots, the lovers are busy elsewhere so you can drink in peace and everything is organized by anarchists. And Hell is what you make it. Fuck the filth. Free Ireland.