Category Archives: animals

DONT FEED THE BEARS by Peter Nolan Smith

My second youngest sister has frequently called me a liar. In some ways Pam hasn’t been not wrong, for my remembrance of the past differs from the collective memories of family and friends. Several years ago I headed up to Maine for my younger sister’s birthday. Watchic Pond was a short distance outside of Portland. […]

There is an old joke about Tibetan street dogs that is more than part true. Why do you need two sticks to take a shit in Tibet? One to hold onto and another to beat off the dogs. I never had occasion to relieve myself in the cities of Tibet, however more than once I […]

Peter Beard in Paradise

In 2008 Peter Beard defied the death. Not only had the famed photographer survived a goring by the tusk of an African elephant, but even the ravages of his own excess. Bravo for a new life in St. Tropez. Here’s an elephant attack joke: This tourist returns from Africa and calls his doctor. “I was […]

Alligator Protection

Florida has about 1,000,000 Mesozoic inhabitants ie alligators and 800-1000 crocodiles. None exist on Palm Beach, except as shoes, belts, and pocketbooks for the filthy rich, however alligator attacks occur in the Sunshine State and every resident and vistor should know the proper response. First scream. Won’t scare the ‘gator, but it’ll alert people to […]

Beware of Moose

Several Christmas Eves ago I traveled north from New York to Boston on the Lucky Star bus. My sisters and I attended a party at our old next door neighbors from the South Shore. Everyone was in good spirits. I drank a little more than more but not more than everyone. It was a time […]