Category Archives: 2000s

BEAR SEASON by Peter Nolan Smith

Hunting season along the Hudson River opens in mid-October. Bow and arrows only. Guns are allowed in November, so I feel relatively safe walking in the woods, especially wearing a neon-orange hooded sweatshirt. No animal in that color existed north or south of Troy, New York and during the shooting season non-hunters drape their bodies […]

I’M GOOD IF YOU’RE GOOD by Peter Nolan Smith

Opening a jewelry store in the Plaza Hotel seemed like a good idea in the Spring of 2009. I was dead broke after my arrest in Thailand for copyright infringement and my wife Mam was pregnant with our son. The Plaza was one of New York’s premier destinations. Wealth was in my cards. Richie Boy […]

QUEEN OF THE PLAZA by Peter Nolan Smith

St. Patrick’s Day promised to be another disaster for the Retail Collection of the Plaza Hotel. Hordes of green-clad spectators streamed down the escalator into the basement. Their eyes averted the luxury goods on offer, as their destination was the hotel’s public bathroom. Within the first hour I had given directions to the toilet over […]

Homo Scan

In April of 2009 Johnny Zombie from Palm Beach sent me to Russia to speak with his customers about their non-payment for merchandise. My friends in New York thought that these Russki ‘businessmen’ would kill me, but I had a band member from Aquarium for my companion. Everyone loved that band. Seve dropped at the […]

MELLOW YELLOW

Throughout the 00s I lived on Moo 9 on Soi BongKot in Pattaya. My house backed onto a nature reserve. The Thais called it a ‘chaai laehn’ or swamp. Their definition was justified by the hordes of mosquitoes haunting the dusk, but the various birds thrived on the nightly swarms. Few farangs or westerners lived […]