Gon Gohng = Thai for Scam – Pattaya

Many Pattaya beer bar denizens know kee-kong means cheating. Bad romances are great communication skill enablers, yet few western tourists or residents have the occasion to learn the useful word gon gohng or scam.

99.999999999% of people are honest. Not all.

Several years ago a 25 year-old Australian woman reported a rape to Pattaya police. She claimed separation from her friends led to a friendly conversation with 3 men who drove her to a remote area for a prolonged rape. A young Thai man rescued her and took the victim to Bangkok-Pattaya Hospital, where she was checked for HIV infection. The police inspector vowed to apprehend these criminals for prosecution and drove the young Thai man and Australian woman back to the site of the rape.

Both suffered simultaneous amnesia.

Their stories unraveled over the next two days. The Australian woman had paid for sex with the Thai man. Her polaroid paranoia created a panic of semen infection and she contrived the rape story to recoup the cost of the hospital visit from her traveler’s policy. Bangkok-Pattaya is that expensive.

Jamie Parker my friend was shocked to hear that a western woman paid to have sex. “I thought they only liked fistf–king.”

“Why should women be any different from men? It’s not like older western women want to have sex with us.” I am 55 and Jamie has no age authorities can etch on his gravestone.

“Speak for yoursself. I’d be a hit at the Breakers.” Both of us would be the youngest breathing man at that illustrious hotel.

“This is Pattaya. Not Palm Beach.” The difference was money. About three zeros worth. This Australian woman was loso or low society. Post-coital freakout.

After the discovery of the flim-flam the police raced to her hotel. She had fled without paying the bill. The police are in hot pursuit of the woman and her accomplice to appease their loss of face or nah sia. The other cops are laughing behind their backs.

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