Kate Moss weds drug addict in Phuket

That’s how the Daily Mail covered the white Biafran’s marriage in Phuket. Not the fireworks or the guests or the attire. Scandals of the past were the article’s highlight for this event, but what else can you expect from the UK media who drove Princess Diana to her death?

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Manners?

During the Deauville film Festival in 1984 I interviewed Rock Hudson with a member of the Brit Press. The Hollywood star graciously  invited us to lunch at the Hotel Atlantique. He ordered a nice bottle of wine to go with the sole meuniere, but before we could even sip the wine the reporter asked, “When are you going to tell people about your affair with Gomer Pyle?”

“Firstly his name is Jim Nabors and my private life is no one’s business except for me and my friends.”

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I respected his wishes, even though I wanted to know if Gomer was hung like John Holmes the mule of porno. The reporter stormed off to seek a bigger star to blood before throwing into the sea of his rabid fans.

My article for ACTUEL was about who would be a better dinner companion. James Dean or Rock Hudson as they starred in George Steven’s epic GIANT.

I surmised that the teenage icon would have been about as ill-mannered as me and Rock rewarded my civility with another bottle of wine. In some ways I was disappointed he didn’t hit on me, but I was over 30 then and he was soon to announce his AIDS to shock the world. Bittersweet disappointment which I’m used to since the Catholic priests in Boston never molested me.

“Wasn’t I pretty enough?”

As for Kate Moss and rocker Doherty. I really don’t want to have sex with either of them. She’s too old and Doherty is no Rock Hudson, however I wish them both love and peace since I’ve done drugs myself and no one is really a saint.

Just ask the old cokehead George WMD Bush.

WMD stands for ‘wild man druggie’.

One more thing I probably would have sex with Kate Moss. Last year I had six dreams about sex with Madonna. Yech! Or maybe it was Nicole Kidman or Uma Thurman. And it wasn’t for money. Yech yech yech.

UPDATE

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Kate Moss later announced that she had not been married in Phuket.

More upsetting is that Fat people have been ranting against the extraordinary thinness of waif models. Some of these fashion showpeople are skin and bones with a body fat index of -15%, however this campaign of caring propagandazes that obesity is the norm. Tyra Banks ex supermodel was photographed weighing about 70 Kilos. She was fat. But the TV pundits said she was a regular person.

No one was fat in the movie GIMME SHELTER about the Rolling Stones 1969 tour of the USA, except for Big Bear from Canned Heat and one victim of the Hell’s Angels.

Fat would only be normal, if a man’s penis also gained weight and that never happens. Your fat when you can’t see your penis and your obese when you can’t touch it.

In any position.

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