Category Archives: holiday

Beermas Vs. Easter

I’m no longer religious, but I am spiritual, so I celebrate Beermas. Often. And I don’t drink to make women more beautiful. I drink to improve my looks. Oh, you dog.

Easter Finery

My mother instilled in her children the desire to look good. “It’s one thing to be broke and quite another to look broke.” I got dressed up in her honor for Easter. A suit and tie. I’m sure that would make her happy in the Here-Before. Now all I have to do is shave off […]

Bunny Bunny

Bunny Bunny Three blondes died in an automobile accident on Easter Sunday. As they line up at the Pearly Gates of heaven, St. Peter tells them that they can enter the gates if they can answer one simple question. “What is Easter?” The first blonde replies, “Oh, that’s easy! It’s the holiday in November when […]

Going To Hell

1. An Indian man dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates. “Yes, how can I help?” asks St Peter. “I’m here to meet Jesus,” says the Indian man. St Peter looks over his shoulder and shouts, “Jesus, your cab is here!” 2. What?s the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of Jesus? It […]

Happy Good Friday

For Catholics around the world Ash Wednesday kicked off the Easter Season. Forty days of abstinence from a favorite pleasure was a token of sacrifice for the crucified Messiah. On Palm Sunday the faithful brandished palm fronds to celebrate the son of god entering Jerusalem. Each and every Good Friday of my childhood the priests […]