Category Archives: holiday

Woody Guthrie Says Do This For A Happy New Year

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Better Late Than Never

Merry Christmas Comrades I’m even capitalizing the C to maintain the spiritual peace even though the Christians sold the holiday from the distant Druids of Stonehenge. Meán Geimhridh was celebrated in the Bronze Age. The rituals from over five thousand years ago have been lost for ages, however every December the sun signals the winter [...]

Bah Fucking Scumbug

I remain true to the old school despite my non-believer status. Today we were hanging ornaments on the tree at the residence in Luxembourg. I came down in a Scrooge-like night garment. The young people regarded me strange and I explained that I was Scrooge. They had no idea what I was talking about. “Don’t [...]

Burning Credit Cards

The Mayor of LA has accused the Occupy LA protestors of damaging the grass in their campsite. Riots police have been deployed to protect the lawn from further harm. “After 56 days of not enforcing three city laws that prohibit the use of that park, the time is now,” announced Police Chief Beck, however the [...]

A BARK IS BETTER THAN A BITE By Peter Nolan Smith

Every diamond shop on West 47th Street was open seven days a week from Thanksgiving to Christmas Eve. Sales people, guards, elevator operators, schleppers, cutters, setters, polishers, and even Lennie the Bum slaved throughout the holiday in hopes of scoring enough money pay off bills and buy presents for wives, lovers, and children. Stores extended [...]