Monthly Archives: January 2014

WHAT IS HAPPINESS by Totie Fields

Totie Fields is a lost genius of Borscht Belt comedy. I reincarnated her from the past this evening, finding a 1974 clip from the Mike Douglas Show on which she puts Gene Simmons from Kiss by saying after he denied being Jewish, “The hook don’t lie.” See this URL I then sought out more and […]

Black Ice

Yesterday smug northerners ridiculed the snowbound paralysis of Atlanta. “There was only two inches of snow,” sneered Jon Stewart of Comedy Central. ‘Maybe we should airlift Maine drivers down to the South to teach them how to drive in winter conditions,” joked a friend at Frank’s Lounge. My grandfather once said, “There are two seasons […]

Atlanta Driving School

The polar vortex stabbed south and wreaked havoc with traffic in Atlanta. The mayor should have called off school, because thousands of students were stranded by the storm. People down there don’t know how to drive in snow. But they’re going to learn.

Fire Fire Fire

It’s cold outside. 23F. Yesterday was even colder. 10F. I wish I had a fireplace. I dream of fires. Fires of any kind. They keep you warm in the cold. And afterward all that’s left is ashes in the winter wind.

Christmas Tree Burning