THE TEN TOP THINGS TO DO IN PARIS

Set fire to a historical cathedral.

Get entombed in the catacombs

Die of boredom waiting in line for the Louvre.

Pay a wanker in a beret to paint an unflattering caricature of you.

Surrender to an invading force without shot being fired.

Protest the rigors of a thirty
-hour work wee.

Enjoy local delicacies like snails, frog legs and horse meat.

Get caught jerking off to The Thinker at the Rodin museum.

Put a padlock on the Pont des Arts with your initials and those of your soon to be ex-wife.

Crash your Mercedes in a tunnel

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