Monthly Archives: April 2019

Easter Finery

My mother instilled in her children the desire to look good. “It’s one thing to be broke and quite another to look broke.” I got dressed up in her honor for Easter. A suit and tie. I’m sure that would make her happy in the Here-Before. Now all I have to do is shave off […]

Lawang Jesus

I’m thousands of miles away from Thailand. I wished I could click my heels and find myself in Sri Racha with my family, but instead I shut my eyes and visualize Easter morning on Pattaya’s Beach Road. Most Christian farangs are sleeping off celebratory drunks, hoping to rise from the dead for a recuperative beer […]

Bunny Bunny

Bunny Bunny Three blondes died in an automobile accident on Easter Sunday. As they line up at the Pearly Gates of heaven, St. Peter tells them that they can enter the gates if they can answer one simple question. “What is Easter?” The first blonde replies, “Oh, that’s easy! It’s the holiday in November when […]

A Reprobate’s Parental Guidance

In 1969 I smoked reefer for the first time in my VW Bug coming from Nantasket Beach. Tommie Jordan and John Gilmore were my passengers. The weed belonged to Tommie, a hockey player from North Quincy. His hair was long, at least for a hockey player, but then so was that of Derek Sanderson and […]

Going To Hell

1. An Indian man dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates. “Yes, how can I help?” asks St Peter. “I’m here to meet Jesus,” says the Indian man. St Peter looks over his shoulder and shouts, “Jesus, your cab is here!” 2. What?s the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of Jesus? It […]