Bathroom frolic

Erica Jong wrote a airborne toilet sex scene into her novel FEAR OF FLYING.20050904-4.jpg The novel sold millions and intorduced the term ‘mile-high sex’ into the American lexicon. Actually aviation sex should have been called ‘about five-mile high sex’ since most trans-Atlantic flight fly at 30,000 feet. I tried to persuade a few girlfirends to initiate me into this lofty league and got resoundingly refused each and every time, so I had to take matters into my own hand through the powers of onanism.

My friends say that masturbation doesn’t count as sex.

Bill Clinton swore that fellatio wasn’t sex either.

And now America has withdrawn from another sexual frontier.

Answering complaints by two women in need of a pee, the Seattle police raided the lady’s restroom of the Qwest Sports Arena to discover two adults in the same bathroom stall. Their crime. Sex. Same as Erica Jong. In a toilet. The police broke down the door. There was no evidence of devil’s play and the man protested that the men’s room was too dirty, but then the 39 year-old man couldn’t open his fly and his assistant offered to help him.

Sounds almost true, once you are told that the man is a deputy prosecutor for the city and no one can lie like a lawyer. The police escorted the two from the arena and arrested the man for trespassing and obstruction. The sheriff said, “It is against the law for a man to be in a ladies room.” 

No the real crime is that the ladies in the long pee line were jealous of two people having sex, when their only release was that of pee. Such are the times of no-sex in America. Bring out the sex police. except to the catholic Church and the Congress.

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