Viva Tony Montana

The USA is my homeland.

I care about apple pie especially since no one can make it like my late mother.

I also believe in life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, which is why I live in Thailand most of the year.

The life is good under the mango tree in my front yard. I’m free to say whatever I want, because no one understands what I say. And I can pursue happiness without anyone saying, “No.”

With the exception of my loving Mam.

I’m presently living in Luxembourg.

Far from Thailand. Far from the USA.

Both countries are suffering from economic down swings, but the USA has dug itself a gigantic hole with a trade deficit to China.

Billions and billions. And the Chinese don’t want to buy anything from us.

The situation reminds me of the British before the Opium Wars. The Celestial Kingdom had no use for anything from Manchester or London, while the teabags couldn’t live without a ‘cuppa’. Some bright Limey tai-pans decided to deal opium to the Chinese. Its popularity was instantaneous. End of trade problems and China was thrown into the gutter.

The more things change the more they stay the same. The Commie wanted to hear nothing about buying baseball bats, since they are made in China, but I have a proposal to save the US economy.
Legalize of cocaine everywhere in the world but white suburbs. That way we can declare the ‘war on drugs’ won and start dealing blow to the Chinese.

A nation of a billion. Maybe 100 million would become users. At $5 a day that’s $15 billion a month.

I know it’s a radical idea, but if I get the contract, then I’m franchising Carlos Blow Emporiums.


If MacDonalds can sell crap, I don’t see why I can’t deal zoot.

The only other option is to sell fat American girls to Chinese men, who outnumber females by 100 million thanks to China’s one-child policy.

Even better sell cocaine and fat girls.

Think of it as one big fat farm for American females.

Fat Farm China

Jocko Weyland thought this was a good idea, but expressed reservation.

“Though I disagree with your premise– ‘We’ do have something the Chinese want. They’re called ‘Ideas’. They don’t have those here.”

Jocko’s not half wrong, but I’ve been in the USA four months and the only good idea I’ve heard in that time was Midget Golf.

Last evening Joey I visited the Kit Kat Club on Belvedere. The strip club has a 2-4-1 Happy Hour.

“You want a lap dance.” Vera asked waggling her flapjack breasts.

“No thanks.” My back couldn’t handle Vera. She weighs about 260 and smelled of big woman sweat.

“You know Vera’s a good candidate for Fat Farm China.”

“What’s that?” Vera had failed Jenny Craig 12 times.

I explained about shipping cocaine to China along with fat girls to save the American economy.

“You we get to do blow?”

“Why not?” I hadn’t thought about that aspect.

“Then where do I sign up?” Vera recruited three other strippers from the Kit Kat. They’re big girls there.

Watch out China, here we come.

Fat girls and cocaine.

Viva Tony Montana

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