MangoZeen

Watching TV from the States and UK ie CNN, Fox, and BBC a viewer could surmise that the West is on the brink of disaster. Glenn Beck of Headline News has been predicting August 22 as the Day of Doom. This knucklehead blames Iran for the trouble in the Mideast and calls their leader ‘President Tom’.

This Mormon alcoholic rants on a major TV news station about the apocalypse like Joseph Smith (founder of the Mormon faith and I might be a descendant) has emailed him the future.

I was born with the placenta wrapped around my face. Celtic beliefs bestow psychic powers on those infants ‘wearing of the veil’. I have dreamed the winners to three races at Aqueduct. They came in winners. Ghosts have appeared to me three times and respected my wishes to leave a drunk alone. My deceased mother regularly visits my dreams, but she has never mentioned the Days of Days.

Could it be because I’m living in Pattaya?

Or that there is no apocalypse coming?

No one in Pattaya seems to care.

Not the Thais.

Not the lager louts.

And certainly not the middle-aged men fulfilling their sexual fantasies, but 17% of Americans believe that Christ is coming in their lifetime. I hope he arrives on 8/22 and takes them to heaven or anywhere else so that the inhabitants of the Last Babylon can proceed with our lives of sin in peace.

Pattaya offers the Seven Deadly Sins (pride, envy, anger, sloth, greed, gluttony, and lust) plus a few perversions for the those libertines stricken by ennui.

Are we Sodom?

Or East Gomorrah?

Will fire and brimstone rain from the skies on 8/22?

My Magic 8 Ball (Just a temporary aid to divine the future when my seering powers have been short-circuited from too many kamikazes) says, “Not likely.”

I asked if Pattaya would be spared Armageddon.

“Seems likely.”

In the 1830s a New England preacher foretold the end of the world at a specific date. The only course of salvation was for those convinced of the Day of Judgment to jump from the highest building they could find at noon. Hundreds leapt from church steeples and barns, resulting in scores of broken legs and hundreds of sprained ankles. One person died and that was the preacher, so for him the prediction was true.

Pattaya may be world renown for sin, but we are a peaceful community, if you discount the shooting, robberies, and suicides. No one really fights unless it’s over girlfriends, boyfriends, or spilled drinks. Religion and nationality never matter except when you’re really drunk.