Tag Archives: hell

Ice Cream In Winter

From Dave Henderson The most coherent explanation for global warming I have ever heard. Courtesy of Mr Peter Nolan Smith “People have abandoned the Bible and now are going to hell in record numbers. Most American sinners are fat. Fat people burn hotter. Hell is hotter. The earth is hotter. Pure science.” Even ice cream […]

Heaven or Hell

Two old men are living in Miami Beach. Their hotel is undergoing renovations. The entire neighborhood has been transformed by young people. Izzy and Moishe sit on the terrace of the Breezemore Hotel and watch the parade of revelers. They are feeling their age and Izzy says, “You know Moishe, we’ve had a good life, […]

No Tattoos in Heaven

After my best friend drowned in Sebago Lake in 1960, I became a non-believer. Chaney was a good boy and no God would have let him die. My atheism was a secret. I was an altar boy at Sunday Mass. My mother prayed that I might take the cloth as a priest or at the […]

Holidays Inferno

A holy Iman dies in peace. He is astounded to be welcomed by St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. “Sorry about the no 72 virgins. In this heaven we spend our days in the glory of God, who is non-denominational. You’ll meet the truly blessed evolving into the truly blissed.” The Iman accepts this heaven […]

Rent-Free Hell

Yesterday on the C train between Hoyt-Schmmerhorn and Lafayette Street a young man was preaching about the wrath of his lord. “God loves his flock, but hates a sinner. All you sinners will have a special place of torment in Hell.” He glared about the subway car like Josef Mengele, the SS Angel of Death […]