Singapore Bans 8 Mile-High Sex
Singapore once known as the Pearl of the Orient has gained a reputation as the unsexiest city in Asia. The Chinese work ethic instilled by the former PM Lee Kuan Yew has transformed the city-state into a first-class metropolis with the consequence that Singaporeans have little time or patience for sex.
In 2004 I missed a connecting flight in Tokyo. The passengers from my 747 were transported to a Narita hotel. We were given drink and dinner chits. I dined with some cute Singapore girls. We had several beers in the bar. The thought of sex never crossed their minds, for they were more interested in shopping. “Sex? No way.”
Singapore gained more attention for their inherent prudishness when Singapore Airlines announced that sex would not be tolerated in the luxury suites of the new Airbus A300.
No Mile High Club?
First, jets never travel a mile-high.
More 8 miles up like the Byrds EIGHT MILE HIGH, not Enimem’s 8 MILE ROAD.
Secondly, 1 mile or 8 miles doesn’t matter to the no-no-ers of Singapore Airlines.
“Passengers will be asked to refrain from sex.” An official explained to a press member examining the double beds in the giant jet’s 12 luxury suites. ‘’All we ask of customers, wherever they are on our aircraft, is to observe standards that don’t cause offence to other customers and crew. Nothing different applies for our Singapore Airlines Suites customers.'’
This proclamation must have disappointed sexual adventurers seeking the thrill so eloquently described in Erica Jong’s novel FEAR OF FLYING.
‘’So they’ll sell you a double bed, and give you privacy and endless champagne and then say you can’t do what comes naturally?'’ Tony Elwood said while flying with his wife with aboard the inaugural flight from London to Singapore. Julie Elwood added, told The Times of London. “‘They seem to have done everything they can to make it romantic, short of bringing round oysters. They shouldn’t really complain, should they?'’
People have been having sex in airplanes without the luxury suites.
Mostly in the bathrooms.
Very cramped quarters like the backseat of a VW, only you can’t stand in a Bug.
The ban is useless, because people will do what they want and the beds in Airbus A300 have already been baptized by Airbus employees.
They are French and Paris is tres sexy.
If Singapore Airlines is serious about the sex ban, then they will have to hire sky marshals to enforce their edict.
Impossible?
Not for a city-state that requires everyone to wash their hands after going to the bathroom.
The police have dogs to sniff out violators.
The canines could easily be trained to sniff out something else too.
The crime of high-altitude sex.
Bad people. Woof-woof.
Other Singapore laws
No chewing gum
No spitting
No jay-walking
No gay sex
No bungee jumping
So obviously no chewing gum to work up a spit to lubricate your gay partner’s nether gate before engaging in sex whilst bungee jumping.
Very bad people.
For a related article click on this URL
