Burn Bible Burn 2011

The sun never set on the British Empire in the 19th Century. Queen Victoria was its supreme leader. Britannia ruled the waves and her army brought order to the savage lands of Africa and Asia. The native were expected to reward their Christina overlords with natural resources and human labor. India was the crown jewel of the empire, although the subcontinent was in truth ruled by the East India Company. Its agents exacted taxes and revenue behind the bayonets of 40,000 redcoats and 200,000 sepoy soldiers.

In 1856 the Governor-General was not satisfied with the native levees’ contribution to the Empire and decided that the Indian soldiers were bound by their honor to serve at overseas post such as Burma or China. This order broke caste for many sepoys and the policies of slow promotions and Christian preaching in the ranks created great dissent in the encampments. Lord Dalhousie and his officers addressed the complaints with an iron fist. Their contempt for the sepoys blinded them to the serious of rumors about the cartridges of the Enfield rifles being greased with cow or pig fat, the Hindus considered the cow sacred and the Muslims regarded pig as haram. The British officers couldn’t have given a fig for these religious restraints.

On February 26,1857 the 19th Bengal Native Infantry refused an order to load the new Enfields. A month later Mangal Pandey of the 34th BNI attacked his commanding officer. Other troops refused to arrest the offender. He was hung for mutiny along with the regiment’s Jemadar. The sepoys broke into open rebellion in April. Within a week northern India was in flames and the British were besieged by hordes angered by religious outrages.

The British Raj triumphed thanks to the gallantry of their soldiers, Sikh compatriots, and Afghan raiders from beyond the Frontier. Captured mutineers were subjected to the Mughal punishment of being blown from a cannon. Lord Dalhousie had departed from India in March. Queen Victoria awarded him a pension and the instigator of the Sepoy Rebellion died peacefully in his own bed.

Christians have a tendency to ignore the beliefs of other religions. Most think that only Jesus believers end up in heaven and after 9/11 disdain for Muslims has been an national obsession for Americans. Our nation is fighting two wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. Both have been winding down under the leadership of Barack Obama. The ‘surges’, bribery payments, assassination squads, and drone attacks have weakened the leadership of the Taliban, but Afghanistan has been a death trap for armies; the Birish in the 19th Century and the Russians in the late-20th Century.

“I am ready to sacrifice everything in completing the unfinished agenda of our noble jihad… until there is no bloodshed in Afghanistan and Islam becomes a way of life for our people.” Mohammed Omar is committed to the struggle and last month his fight gained steam thanks to the burning on two-hundred Korans by a Florida backwater Bible preacher.

The Dove Outreach Center declared the Koran guilty of crime against humanity and their gun-carrying evangelistic leader set fire to the kerosene-soaked Korans.

“They actually burned quite well.”

Mr. Jones’ work was appreciated by his fifty member congregation and the preacher posted a video of the bonfire on Youtubes. Only 1300 people viewed the tape, but the internet has shrunk the world and yesterday Afghanis revenged the blasphemy by storming a UN compound in the Mazar-i-Sharif and killing twelve foreigners, mostly Nepali soldiers.

“We don’t feel responsible for that.” Mr. Jones was quick to point out to Agence France-Presse.

It is not illegal in the USA to burn the Koran. It is also not illegal to burn the Bible. I always throw the ones that I find in hotel rooms into a field. It’s not theft. The Gideon Organization provides them to each hotel room in America. Even in the Mustang brothels in Nevada and nothing burns better than a Bible from a whorehouse.

Only one way to find out.

Jesus’ Tomb – 2013

“What is Jerusalem worth?” the knight at the end of KINGDOM OF GOD asks Saladin, the leader of the Muslim army. 

“Nothing.” Saladin answered and walked away, then turns and says, “Everything.”

For centuries faith has determined the worth of Jerusalem for the Jews, Christians, and Muslims.

As an atheist I think they all believe what they believe to be true, but several years ago James Cameron, director of THE TERMINATOR series had declared his discovery of Jesus’ tomb in Talpiot.

His DNA evidence attests to the veracity of his findings along with the suggestion that Jesus might have sired a son named Judah. 

Holy Jesus conspiracy freaks!

While an intransigent non-believer,I ascribe to the theory laid out in Nikos Kazantzakis’ novel THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST purporting that Jesus and Magdalene fled Judea for India. VS Naipul’s TRAVELS AMONGST THE BELIEVERS mentioned a tomb of Jesus in northern India. Supposedly the messiah lived to the ripe age of 124. The wounds never healed in his hands and feet.

I have a question for James Cameron.

“What is Jesus’ Tomb worth?”

Everything or nothing or something in between?

The Outrage of Christ

THE LAST TEMPTATION by Nikos Kazantzakis was a revelation for a young boy living on the South Shore of Boston in the early 1960s. I found the book in our town library next to his successful novel ZORBA THE GREEK. Reading the blurb on the dust cover I was shocked to discover that Kazantzakis had written this book to argue the innate weakness of the flesh in the Son of God. Books like this were generally banned in Boston. The lack of due date stamps within the front cover revealed that the book had never been read by anyone in my town. I stuck it under my arm and walked to the check-out counter.

“This book has been here over seven years.” The librarian examined THE LAST TEMPTATION, as if she had never seen it before. She opened the pages to the publishing date. “Came out in 1960.”

“Maybe it was in hiding.” I was a weekly visitor to the library. The librarian was familiar with my reading habits. She allowed me to take out adult books without question. “ZORBA THE GREEK had been very popular. Any time someone makes a movie from a book, people come into the library to read it. Afterward I have to hear how the book was better or the movie was better.”

“THE TEN COMMANDMENTS was better than the book.” I had seen the Bible epic at the South Shore Drive-In with my parents. I had yet to tell them that I was a non-believer. Such an admission would have earned me the belt and not on the palm of the hand.

“That’s almost sacrilegious.” She frowned from behind her desk, then laughed, “I was kidding. I liked THE TEN COMMANDMENTS better too. Let me know how this book is.”

I took THE LAST TEMPTATION home and read the entire novel over the weekend. My older brother grabbed it out of my hands and asked if it was a dirty book.

“No.” Kazantzakis offered an intoxication more heady than sex.

The author had contradicted the very teachings of the Church. Jesus was a man. He succumbed to the pleasure of Mary Magdalene. The devil tore at his soul. The Messiah lived in India after survived the crucifixion and escaped to India. He had awoken from that dream to find himself nailed to the cross. His suggestions created a Fifth Testament complimenting my juvenile atheism.

My version was simple.

Jesus had been crucified on the cross. The Romans declared him dead, but he was in a coma. After the earthquake opened his tomb, the apostles discovered him alive and declared him the Son of God. Jesus believed them until Thomas returned from India. He pointed to the scars in Jesus’ feet and hands and told his friend that if they did this once, then they will do it again. Jesus hadn’t come back from the dead to be re-crucified and he fled to India with Thomas, his mother, and Mary Magdalene.

My version was also heresy, until I read in VS Naipul’s AMONGST THE BELIEVERS that a tomb exists in Northern India containing the body of a holy man from Judea. Yuz Asaf or Issar had been a healer and lived to the age of 127. Muslims in Kashmir revered the tomb as the final resting place of Mary. Carved footprints on Yuz Araf’s gravestone bore wounds in the feet.

More heresy.

In 1988 Martin Scorcese released THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST. The movie had been banned in the Philippines and Singapore and a Paris cinema had been firebombed by Christian extremists, injuring thirteen spectators in the attack. The same number of people at the Last Dinner.

Christians are very sensitive about any questioning of the divinity of Jesus or blasphemous exploitation of his image.

The controversial photo PISS CHRIST earned Richard Serrano a hailstorm of outrage for its use of urine. He received hate mail and death threats. His grants were withdrawn, despite counter-protests for the freedom of speech as guaranteed by the American Constitution. The work was thoroughly trashed by Christian Fundamentalists in France that Spring and they have mounted a similar campaign against a Paris theater for showing a play in which a portrait of Jesus is covered in shit at the end of the play.

Outrage.

As an atheist I refrain from attacking anyone’s religion.

If belief in a mythical god makes the believers happy, so be it, but if they try to change the way I think, then I’ll resist the bible-thumpers and jihadists every step of the way.

And here’s how;

Why did Jesus cross the road?

Because he was nailed to the chicken!

Yes, if there is a Hell, we’re all going to go there.

I think that comes from a Curtis Mayfield song.

If there is a hell, we’re all going to go.

And I found the address in THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST.

IT’S IN THE STATE OF MICHIGAN.

Ides Of March

Julius Caesar returned from the Conquest of Gaul loaded with plunder i.e. gold and slaves. He paid off the debt of every Roman, thereby freeing the hoi polloi from the tyranny of the upper classes. The Senators feared the Dictator’ rising popularity and accused Caesar of seeking the title of King.

Caesar rejected their claim, stating, Non sum Rex, sed Caesar or I am not King, I am Caesar.”

The conspirators plotted to assassinate Caesar on the Ides of March, the traditional day on which Romans paid theri debts. They chose the Senate for the location, since only senators were allowed within its chambers. The haruspex Spurinna had warned Caesar that his life was in danger up to the Ides of March. He ignored the seer and on March 1 Caesar studied Cassius with Brutus at the senate house and said to an aide, “What do you think Cassius is up to? I don’t like him, he looks pale.”

More guilty than pale.

The fix was in.

On the morning of the Ides, Caesar’s wife told her husband about a horrible dream and asked hm to stay home. He agreed, however Decimus, a trusted general, came to his house and said, “What do you say, Caesar? Will someone of your stature pay attention to a woman’s dreams and the omens of foolish men?”

Caesar was a fearless warrior and walked to the Senate. Seeing Spurinna, Caesar joked, “Well, the Ides of March have come!”

“Aye, the Ides have come,” said Spurinna, “but they are not yet gone.”

Mark Antony tried to stop the plot, but arrived at the Senate too late.

Dozens of knives slashed at Caesar. He bled to death. A victim of collective greed.

“Et tu, Brutus.”

CENTURION / 2010

Latin was a required language for the top classes of Xaverian Brothers High SChool during the 60s. The first ancient words learned by freshmen were ‘amo, amas, amat’ and ‘agricola’.The former was the verb to love and the latter meant farmer which was one of the few male nouns with a female ending. My teacher Brother Bede had a stutter. Same as me and he favored my annunciation over those of more glib tongues. I was a solid B- student under his tutelage. An A might have been possible with a little more application, however I suffered an incurable tendency to daydream, which wasn’t helped by the map of the Roman Empire at the back of the LATIN I textbook.

Legions conquered the Etruscans, Carthagenians, and Greeks. Soldiers were catapulted to power with victory. Caesar ruled Rome with hope for an eternal republic. “Et Tu, Brutus.” sent him to the grave. In 1963 Marcus Antony and Cleopatra were brought to life on screen by Richard Burton and Liz Taylor. Almost everyone in the world knows to show the downward thumb to the defeated. Rome lived through costume epics and this year the movie CENTURION has captured the fall of the British frontier.

Picts overrunning the borders.

Solid acting with blood and mayhem.

Magic too.

A simple plot but worth a watch.

veni vidi vici – I came, I saw, I conquered
(Julius Caesar’s report of victory in 47 B.C. over Pharnaces, king of Pontus)

My preference is more veni vidi ivi – I came, I saw, I went.

Pacem ad infinitum. Peace forever.