Lady Words Men Don’t Know
JFK was supposedly the fastest speaker in the English language. Whereas expert typists can tap out 120 words per minute, JFK could string over 300 words in a minute as opposed to GW Bush’s lastest press conference, where he hemmed and hawed like a schoolboy caught smoking pot on a Church outing.
JFK is the recognized champ, however my fast-talking mother could have whipped JFK like a red-headed step child, mostly because women use a larger everyday lexicon than men.
16,215 versus men’s 15,669.
Feeling has to be one of them.
Men only say that word singing the song FEELINGS.
Here’s a sampling of words listed by The Magazine which will never cross our lips.
Book club: A female dominated affair, perhaps because women read more fiction, or perhaps because men aren’t very good at talking about it
Accessorize: If men were ever to use this word it would only be in the context of cars
Body image
Empowering: Men never use this word, perhaps because for the 200,000 years humans have been on the planet, men have had all the power
Burlesque: Something involving strip-tease that can apparently involve the above
Size zero
Home birth
Pilates: Men in the UK, particularly, seem to have no interest in building up their core strength
Pomegranate: Men seem ill-equipped to understand the significance and full range of superfoods
Differing vocabularies can be a source of disagreement
Cellulite
Absolutely beautiful: The words women often use to describe friends who are not
Conventionally attractive: Preceded by “well I suppose she is…”, a phrase women often use to describe those who actually are
Jesse Metcalfe: A walking Athena poster, see above
Footless tights: Strange idea, strangely popular
Breastfeeding
Emotional intelligence: Something that men usually do not possess, instead preferring the kind of intelligence that involves dates of battles
Kitten heels: Or indeed heels of any other kind
What are you thinking?: The classic female condition check
Feminism: If even veteran feminists can’t agree on what this means then it’s probably best avoided by men
Afghanistan: A place where the debate is rather starker
Agony aunt: When men seek answers to life-changing problems in magazines, it tends to be under the headline “plasma or LCD?”
Airbrushing: The process by which magazine picture editors oppress women in an underhand way
Flexible working
Handbagging: As in new Commons leader Harriet Harman’s request to Theresa May not to savage her every Thursday
Beefeater: The first female one made her debut this year
Babies
Superwoman
Ms: Extraordinarily, the battle continues for women to be allowed to avoid definition by their marital status
Middleton: As in Kate. Style icon or harassed paparazzo target?
Concealer
Why: As in “why do you never call?”
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