GOUT
The earliest exposure to gout came from movies showing Henry VIII hobbling about the set with his foot swathed in bandages. The disease came from rich foods. Only the very rich or obese were supposedly prone to such an ailment, although in recent years friends have limped into restaurants or parties to explain, “I have gout.”
Healthy folks would laugh at the sufferer’s prediction.
After all you are what you eat and everyone thinks that there’s no way they’ll ever get gout.
The first symptom of gout is a sore toe.
Two weeks ago my toe was sore.
Gout is caused by a rich diet of red wine, meats, and peas.
I eat a lot of frozen peas and drink wine too.
Being a hypochondriac I feared that I was in the first stages of gout.
I went to the internet and scoured the online medical journals.
Bad news.
Avoid alcohol.
Good news.
Eat asparagus, spinach, and broccoli.
I like those.
My friend Sam Royalle asked, “Why don’t you go to the doctor?”
I only go to the doctor for my annual check-up.
“I don’t have gout.” The pain was minor.
“And if it doesn’t go away?” Sam liked the Bangkok-Pattaya Hospital.
“Then I’ll go to the hospital.” Until then it’s broccoli sandwiches once a day with a glass of white wine.
Red is supposed to be the killer.
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