Diana Conspiracy
I never met Princess Diana, although a friend of a friend, Victoria Underwood, married her brother. Diana would have been at the wedding. I never received an invitation. No great loss, because the Princess of Wales wasn’t my type, however I viewed her death as a blow against the empire of goodness.
I arrived in London the day of her funeral. The city breathed a respectful quiet reminiscent of JFK’s burial procession. Grown men cried like babies and that night I laid a wreath before Kensington Palace. I cried too. She was a real princess.
A week later Sam Royalle and I were in Paris. We were drinking at her hotel. I had a rented Fiat Panda and said, “I’ll match the driver drink for drink and re-create the accident.”
“Fuck you.” Sam was anti-royalist, but loved Diana. Anyone good did.
“No, something is not right about this crash and I don’t know what.” I felt like Oliver Stone filming JFK. “Someone killed her.”
The whys were too numerous to count unlike the four cognacs I downed in succession. Not cheap at the hotel prices either. Sam said to try the re-enactment in the morning but the conditions demanded a run-through. Key in the ignition. Full tank of gas. I peeled from the valet without tipping him. Fuck the French. I blew the lights at Rue St. Honore and entered the chaotic merry-go-round of Place de la Concorde. 90kph.
I needed to go faster.
Diana’s Mercedes had paparazzi on her tail. A score of them on motorcycles. Strobe lights. Jodi telling the drunk driver. “Plus vite.”
Diana laughs. Jodi joins her.
I hit 110 and skitter onto the Quai like a billiard ball slice with extreme English. 120.
I don’t hear Sam’s shouting. The entrance to the death tunnel loomed ahead. I take it at 120. Airborne.
The Fiat bottoms out with a slight swerve. 130.
And we don’t die. Diana did. Look at her driver’s face. He was drugged just like teddy Kennedy at Chappaquidick.
Anyone wonder why? ps Victoria was my type, although you couldn’t tell that from the only photo I found on the internet. Faded beauty.
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http://www.mangozeen.com/six-degrees-of-separation-pattaya-style.htm
