MangoZeen

Yankee Stadium is coming down after this season. The seats, the field, the hot dogs stands, and men’s rooms will become dust under the rubble of that exalted playing field, but one fact shall remain forever sacrosanct, for a recent survey revealed that less than 1% of men at Yankee Stadium washed their hands after […]

My sister had bad skin as a teenager. She visited a dermatologist every week and her nights were consumed by arcane cleansing rituals. I’d come into the bathroom and throw water on my face. After two seconds I’d wipe the dirt from my face, leaving a Shroud of Turin visage on the towel. My sister […]

Why did Doctor Nepola tell me to give up beer on the cusp of Oktoberfest?
It’s a cruel world.

No Beermas.

10 days into the Olympics and the Chinese authorities have yet to allow a protest in the sanctioned areas for dissent. No word about Tibet. No word about organ-harvesting. No word about corruption. No word about the earthquake. No word about government officials selling commune land for a profit.
Although Yahoo Sports News reports that the […]

AND WE’RE NOT DONE YET

 I like WALL-E
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Good News for overweight Americans. Researchers at the Salk Institute have developed two drugs which have increased fat mice’s endurance without exercise and they have found two drugs that do wonders for the athletic endurance of couch potato mice. The scientists are almost 100% positive that the drugs’ benefits might be applicable to humans seeking […]

I write for several small publications and getting free-bies is an expected perk of this job, since it pays so little. A month ago the editor of Pattaya Beyond asked me to write a review about gentleman’s Masssage on on Soi 1 3rd Road in North Pattaya. I didn’t mention this assignment to my wife […]

Nut and I flirted a lot at the Buffalo Bar. She was pretty and liked to drink Heineken. These beers seemed to dismantle her decision process when choosing who to accept as date for the night. She’d go with the fat, short, ugly, and tall. Afterwards saying, “We did nothing.”
It’s not easy working at a […]

Eddie Van Halen Now and Then

My cousin Sherri was a stripper. She was an aerial expert on the steel poles. Naked the slender brunette would swirl around the metal column like an Aztec skydiver. her mother never came to a show, but I always told Aunt Mary, “You’re daughter is the best.”
“That’s because you’re family.”
“Maybe a little, but also she […]