UnSanta Con

For decades St. Patrick’s Day ruled the ethnic holidays for least loved by New Yorkers. Puerto Rican Day ran a distant unrivaled second, until Santa.con was celebrated by drunken men in Santa outfits. At first the gatherings were small, but in 2012 30,000 Santas rampaged through New York and the people of that city learned to hate the Red Menace.

The most.

Thankfully I missed Santacon 2019.

And I didn’t see a single Santa that evening.

Not a single wannabe St. Nick passed out in the streets.

Scores of the Red Society were arrested for public intoxication and open-air urination.

They were a public disgrace and in 2016 their charitable contributions to the city’s needy was a measly $60,000 dollars and $6000 of canned food.

Fuck ’em all.

Santa’s just a dirty old drunk anyway, except for Kris Kringle in MIRACLE ON 34TH STREET.

He was a good one, but they all were in the days of black-and-white movies.

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