My Friend Steve

A young man named Brian was sailing solo around the world. A typhoon caught him in the open waters of the Pacific. His sloop was battered by giant waves. The boat was sinking. There was no time for an SOS.

Brian abandoned his sinking boat and prayed for his life, as the heavy seas savaged his life raft. Finally he was washed overboard. Water filled his lung. Death seemed certain, only he woke on the soft sands of a deserted island.

Water, coconuts, fish, and fruit provided sustenance.

A week and month passed with the rising and setting of the sun. No jets overhead, no ships on the horizon, no Man Friday and Brian resigned himself to solitude.

A year later an epic typhoon savages the island.

The next morning Brian spotted a life raft on the reef. Shark fins broke the surface. He swam across the lagoon to discover a woman. Not just any woman, but Cindy Crawford the supermodel. Brian dragged the raft through the tumult of the surf and nurses the famous beauty to health. Little by little she regained her strength. After a month she thanked Brian for saving her life.

“If there’s anything I can do let me know. Anything.”

Brian thought about it for a second and said, “No, I did what any human would do for another human.”

A week became a month. Cindy and Brian were young. Sex was in the air. Brian was handsome. Cindy was a dream come true. Finally one night they made love.

Paradise. Eden. Utopia.

In the morning they walked the beach hand in hand.

“You remember saying that you would do anything?” Brian asked Cindy with an almost perverse tone.

“Yes.” Cindy had been waiting for this moment for months. All men were alike.

“Did you mean that?”

“Yes.” Cindy was expecting the worse, but Brian had saved her life and she said, “Anything.”

Brian pulled out a Red Sox baseball cap and says, “Could you wear this and let me call you Steve? He’s my best friend.”

“Sure.” This was nothing and Cindy put the cap on her head. “Happy?”

“I couldn’t be happier.” Brian shut his eyes and said, “Steve, you will never believe who I’m fucking.”

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