In 2008 on Koh Samui a middle-aged English tourist arrived at the local emergency ward with complaints of severe stomach and intestinal cramps. The ER staff fought for several hours to extract a long plastic bag from the Englishman’s intestines. They were surprised to discover the bag’s contents werea nearly a kilo of hashish worth approx. one million baht. The Thai police arrested him on charges of smuggling the Class 5 drug onto the island, which sold for 1,500-2,000 baht a gramme. In custody the UK resident explained he had been in pain for over five days and panicked upon his farts starting to smell like the drug, indicating that several of the sealed packets might have burst in his stomach. None of his customers wanted to take a bong hit from his butt and now he will be subject to the full measure of the law for his folly.

Provincial governor Vinai Buapradit suspected Mr Jones swallowed the drugs when he was overseas so he could pass through drug detectors and sniffer dogs at airports and at the pier on Samui where boats leave for Koh Phangan.

Pinyo Thongchai, the deputy chief of the Department of Special Investigation, said trans-national criminal groups were rampant on Koh Samui.

As well as the Bandidos motorcycle gang, which recently faced a crackdown by authorities, there were also international mafia gangs doing illegal businesses in drugs, land and property deals and extorting money from foreign businessmen.

In June last year police on Koh Samui arrested Frenchman Pittet Pasca Maorica, 53, who was also admitted to Samui International Hospital after suffering from stomach pain.

Doctors found one kilogramme of heroin in his stomach. 

He was lucky his bag had not broken.

The Police might have caught these two, but the real drug dealers are the banks laundering oney for the ja bah and heroin trade, controlled by people whose name can not be said in public.

Not if you want to live.

ps No one’s farts smell better than your own.