Valentine Globalization

Valentine’s Day has become a global holiday, although few people know the exact origins of why hearts are sent to loved ones. The tradition has been mainly attributed to a Roman priest Valentine who performed Christian marriages against the wishes of the Roman Emperor. According to Wikipedia Emperor Claudius took a liking to this prisoner – until Valentinus tried to convert the Emperor – whereupon this priest was condemned to brutal death.

The Imperial Guard beat the priest with clubs and stones; when that failed to kill him, he was beheaded outside the Flaminian Gate.

Supposedly before his execution Valentinus wrote a farewell note to his beloved inscribed ‘From your Valentine’.

The Holy Catholic Church has never mentioned of this marital anathema on Valentine’s Day.

Not that the priests of the Vatican are celibate.

Still the holiday is celebrated around the world and young people in Thailand vow to have sex with their lovers.

Puritan Thai authorities disapprove of this adaptation of the Valentine rites and officials post police near honeymoon hotels to prevent teens from acting on their desires. Contradicting this moral conservatism the Culture Minister has ordered his officers to distribute 10,000 condoms to teens in preparation for their civil disobedience.

In truth the boys are praying to be lucky and I know that when I was a teenager girls were thinking in the opposite direction. Most teens will go to eat with their friends and the boys dream about getting the green light as they pay for the meal.

Only a few will be so lucky and that’s only because they were lucky before.

So Happy Valentine Day youth of the world.

Being far from my wife I’m celebrating mine with my favorite lover.

A bottle of wine.

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