Passing Judgment Over Passover


Passover is the most important religious holiday on the Jewish Calendar.

For Millenia Passaich has celebrated the Angel of Death passing over the first-borns of the Hebrew to murder the first-born of the Egyptians. This last plague of Moses freed the bonded Hebrews from the Land of the Pharaohs. The actual date has been lost to time as has been the name of the Pharaoh. Some religious historians have dated the Biblical tale to the rule of Rhamses II, although no historian from that time had recorded the terrible plagues and the story of Moses remarkably resembled the Neo-Assyrian version Akkad King Sargon’s birth in the 2300 BC.

But if Passover was not plagiarism, how to explain celebrating the last plague?

The massacre of the first-born.

Possibly the first-born were first given food in the morning and the bread could have been poisoned by a toxin or else died from sleeping too close to the ground as was their privilege and breathed a toxic gas or more plausibly the children were poisoned by the slaves.

Every slave-owners feared that fate.

Serves you right for messing with the ruthless God of Israel.

“I’ll fuck your eyes out.” Exodus 12:11

And people ask why I’m an atheist.

The slaughter of these innocents was a good reason.

Bring on Beermas.

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