Last month I staying in Bannok about sixty kilometers from Chai-nat. Every morning I was woken by the village loudspeakers. The announcer read off farming information to the locals. I couldn’t understand a word that he was saying about rice prices. Finally someone pulled the plug and the world was serenaded by a chorus of birdsong for several minutes, until a Loso fan pull the plug to play KAO MOTORSAI with the volume knob locked on 11.

Anyone who has lived in Thailand will notice almost that the Thais are allergic to silence. The blare of TVs drown out quiet in every corner of the land. Loud music assaults the ears from every possible stereo device and they don’t seem bothered by two TVs competing with a boombox in the same room. Any time I mention the cacophony, the Thais stare at me as if I’m anti-sanuk or anti-fun.

Maybe I’m getting old, but years ago in New York I would have a day of silence on Sunday. No talking. No conversing with anyone. Only reading and later break the fast with THE SIMPSONS.

I even went so far as to unplug the telephone, although not many people called on Sunday, due to my friends suffering from life-threatening hang-overs. It was so peaceful.

Thais love noise. The louder the better, although the world’s noisiest people have to be the Taiwanese. I never heard anyone talk so loudly, almost as if shouting is the only way to get another taiwanese to understand you.

Back in the early 70s my family invited a Spanish student to live with us, while my younger brother stayed at his house in Madrid. My father had a little French, but not Spanish, so he shouted at the young man, whose grasp of the English language was rudimentary. He thought that my father was always angry with him and on several occasions I heard him crying in his room after my father yelled a simple request like ‘are you hungry’ or ‘why do you call soccer ‘football’.

I said to my father that the young student mistook the loudness for anger.

“Well, that’s plain stupid.” And my father went to the Spanish boy’s room to upbraid him for this misunderstanding.

Muted sobs.

Some health authorities see no danger to the public from the incessant noise bombarding the Thais, however one irate Thai complained to this next-door neighbors, who thought they had the right to make as much noise as they wanted in the privacy of their own home. He shot the 8 of them dead.

Now that’s a health hazard.

What’s the hand of one hand clapping?

A click of the fingers.

Cool like beatnik.

Yes, I really am that old.