Last night I watched the late George Carlin take fat people to task for being obese.

“I use the word “fat.” I use that word because that’s what people are: they’re fat. They’re not bulky; they’re not large, chunky, hefty or plump. And they’re not big-boned. Dinosaurs were big-boned. These people are not overweight: this term somehow implies there is some correct weight. There is no correct weight. Heavy is also a misleading term. An aircraft carrier is heavy; it’s not fat. Only people are fat, and that’s what fat people are! They’re fat!”

Fat people hate hearing this shit, but more to the point fat people are fat.

Worse is that they make excuses for being fat, such as; I’ll start my diet tomorrow, I have Bad Genes, I have slow metabolism, Everyone in my family is fat, I can’t stand the taste of healthy food, Why should I lose weight, I’m married, At my age, it’s hard to lose weight, I want to die happy, and hundreds of other lame excuses for weighing as much as five Chinamen.

I’m overweight for a couple of reasons.

I drink beer, wine, and alcohol, but no thing I don’t drink is that oversized bullshit soda sold at 7/11, movie multiplex, or sports arena.

This week my least favorite mayor of New York attempted to ban large containers of soda.

Soft drink advocates screamed out bloody murder about this dictatorial mandate and ads hit the papers stating that America is not a socialist country and there is no proof that soft drinks cause obesity. People addicted to soft drinks whined that their freedom of choice was being eroded by Mayor Bloomberg’s decision without taking a look in the mirror to see the truth.

America is fat and fat people cost the rest of us billions of dollars, not to mention that their sweating is one of the major causes of global warming, but if this country was really serious about losing weight than we should open our borders to cocaine, for nothing takes off the weight faster than a coke binge and cocaine really is the Real Thing.