Lou Reed recorded a signature song on his album TRANSFORMER. Actually more than one. VICIOUS and WALK ON THE WILD SIDE was joined by PERFECT DAY, which was later used for a TV commercial.
“Oh, such a perfect day. I’m glad I spend it with you. You just keep me hanging on.”
Normally hearing a song you love selling a motor scooter makes me never want to listen to it again, however with PERFECT DAY I wasn’t watching that my TV during that time and I also forgive Lou Reed because he needs the money. So much so he sold out HEROIN for a Nissan ad.
More forgivable is Iggy prostituting LUST FOR LIFE for VW.
After slaving 30 years for his music Iggy has little to show other than a penthouse duplex on the Bowery and a vast gap of memories. Guess he has perfect days in his downtown aerie.
A perfect day for me and playing with my daughter at the beach, but other people have more complicated desires and Big Al sent the following list.
PERFECT DAY FOR HER
8:15 Wake up to hugs and kisses
8:30 Weigh in 2 pounds lighter than yesterday
8:45 Breakfast in bed, freshly squeezed orange juice and croissants open presents expensive jewelry chosen by thoughtful partner
9:15 Soothing hot bath with frangipani bath oil
10:00 Light work out at club with sexy funny personal trainer
10:30 Facial, manicure, shampoo, condition, blow dry followed by
12:00 noon lunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor café
12:45 Catch sight of partner’s ex and notices she has gained 17 pounds
3:00 Nap
4:00 Three dozen roses delivered by florist, card is from secret admirer
4:30 Light work out at club, followed by massage from strong but gentle
hunk, who says he rarely gets to work on such a perfect body
5:30 Choose outfit from expensive designer wardrobe, parade before full length mirror
7:30 Candle lit dinner for two followed by dancing, with compliments received from other diners/dancers
10:00 Hot shower (alone)10:50 Carried to bed . . (freshly ironed, crisp, new, white linen)
11:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling
11:15 Fall asleep in his big strong arms
THE PERFECT DAY FOR HIM
6:00 Alarm
6:15 Blow job
6:30 Massive satisfying shit while reading the sports section
7:00 Breakfast: steak and eggs, coffee and toast, all cooked by naked, wench who bends over a lot showing her Growler
7:30 Limo arrives
7:45 Several beers en-route to airport
9:15 Flight in personal Lear Jet
9:30 Limo to Mirage Resort Golf Club (blow job en-route)
9:45 Play front nine – 2 under
11:45 Lunch: steak and lobster, 3 beers and bottle of Dom Perignon
12:15 Blow job
12:30 Play back nine – 4 under
2:15 Limo back to the airport (several bourbons)
2:30 Fly to Bahamas
3:30 Late afternoon fishing excursion with all female crew, all nude who also bend over a lot displaying growlers
4:30 Land world record Marlin (1234 lbs) – on light tackle
5:00 Fly home, massage and hand job by naked Elle McPherson (bending over, naturally)
6:45 Shit, Shower and Shave
7:00 Watch news: Michael Jackson assassinated
7:30 Dinner: lobster appetizers, Dom Perignon (1953), big juicy fillet steak followed by Ice-cream served on a big pair of tits
9:00 Napoleon Brandy and Habanos cigar in front of wall-size TV as you watch football game
9:30 Sex with three women (all with lesbian tendencies…some bending over)
11:00 Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty pizza snacks and a cleansing beer
11:30 A night cap blow job
11:45 In bed alone
11:50 Blast a 22 second fart which changes note 4 times and forces the dog to leave the room
11:51 Laugh yourself to sleep.
Different strokes for different blokes.