The Revised 10 Commandments

Number 1 – There is no god, so you don’t have to worry about having other gods

Number 2 – Feel imaginative about images of spirituality.

Number 3 – Refrain from saying the name of a god that doesn’t exist. He will not help you in floods, disaster, bankruptcy, or police stops. You are on your own.

Number 4 – Sunday is a day of rest. Make the most of it by doing absolutely nothing other than kicking back with friends and family.

Number 5 – Treat your parents with respect. No one is perfect.

Number 6 – Spare the life of everyone that deserves a break, but remember that the world would be better off without some people, so never think that by killing a monster that you are no better than them. That’s just Hollywood bullshit.

Number 7 – Love your neighbor’s wife with all the love you can, just be careful not to be caught, because it’s not the love that is wrong. it’s the getting caught that is the sin.

Number 8 – If you lose something then it wasn’t yours to begin with in the first place. All possessions are transitory. Share and share alike or else.

Number 9 – If you have nothing good to say about someone then say nothing, but if the nothing good is true, then tell everyone the truth. It will set you free.

Number 10 – The difference between adultery and loving your neighbor’s life is strictly semantics. Free yourself. Two people happy is better than four people unhappy.

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