Flee Flee Flee

A madman for Live For God’s Kingdom has reinforced the convictions of my old friend, the ex-model from Paris, that the world is coming to an end. We are meant to flee for Jerusalem. It is the only refuge for believers.

“The Beast is a new world order and I think has tied to the International Monetary Fund–which will prevent those faithful to Christ from buying or selling because they will not bow down to this satanic world’s demand of receiving its mark of 666 upon their forehead and hand. The love of God in Christ and His Word are eternal.”

Normally I respond to her warnings of the End of Times with sardonic derision, however the other day a friend spotted a caravan of doomsayers in the West Village. The loudspeakers chanting out the date, May 21, 2011, the new and revised End of Times. The religious are chomping at the bit for Armageddon, so their beloved Jesus will transported them into the Rapture. They have no sense of humor, but the beauty of humanity is that we see the funny side of tragedy.

“Comedy is someone falling down the stairs. Tragedy is your getting a paper cut.” – Robert C Cea

But here’s how the media will report the End.

USA Today: WE’RE DEAD

The Wall Street Journal: DOW JONES PLUMMETS AS WORLD ENDS

National Enquirer: O.J. AND NICOLE, TOGETHER AGAIN

Playboy: GIRLS OF THE APOCALYPSE

Microsoft Systems Journal: APPLE LOSES MARKET SHARE

Victoria’s Secret Catalog: OUR FINAL SALE

Sports Illustrated: GAME OVER

Wired: THE LAST NEW THING

Rolling Stone: THE GRATEFUL DEAD REUNION TOUR

Readers Digest: ‘BYE

Discover Magazine: HOW WILL THE EXTINCTION OF ALL LIFE AS WE KNOW IT AFFECT THE WAY WE VIEW THE COSMOS?

TV Guide: DEATH AND DAMNATION: NIELSON RATINGS SOAR!

Lady’s Home Journal: LOSE 10 LBS BY JUDGMENT DAY WITH OUR NEW “ARMAGEDDON” DIET!

America Online: SYSTEM TEMPORARILY DOWN. TRY CALLING BACK IN 15 MINUTES.

Inc. magazine: TEN WAYS YOU CAN PROFIT FROM THE APOCALYPSE

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