Monthly Archives: December 2009

The Past Is Better Off In The Past

My father can’t remember much anymore. His Alzheimer’s is very advanced, but he does remember me, despite my living in New York. “At least you look like you used to look.” The mirror argues that opinion every morning, but I have to agree with my father. Very few people like they used to look. Some [...]

How To Make A Woman Happy

It’s not difficult to make a woman happy.. A man only needs to be 1. a friend 2. a companion 3. a lover 4. a brother 5. a father 6. a master 7. a chef 8. an electrician 9. a carpenter 10. a plumber 11. a mechanic 12. a decorator 13. a stylist 14. a [...]

Bah Humbug Xmas 2009

My non-belief in Christianity forced my decision to give Christmas a miss this year. Presents to my kids and wives, a few glasses raised to Xmas, and a good luck wish to my 90 year-old father constituted my holiday celebration. I did not travel to Boston for the family gathering nor call up friends in [...]

You Ain’t Going Nowhere

China unveiled its newest technological achievement; a maglev train connecting Wuhan to the southern city of Guangzhou. The cost of the project was a staggering $14.6 billion or about one month of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. The Communist nation is planning another 10,000 miles of these high speed lines to be completed within [...]

The Drunkest Drunk Ever

I’ve been drinking since the age of 12. My behavior on alcohol has often overstepped the boundary of good behavior and challenged my instinct for survival. I shot a spear gun at two boys attacking my brother in the dunes of Horseneck Beach, drove my car through every red light on Commonwealth Avenue, and puked [...]