Damnation Redux

The ex-model from Paris posted the following on Facebook.

Revelation 13:16-18 — “And he causeth all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and bond, to receive a mark in their right hand, or in their foreheads: And that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark, or the name of the beast,… or the number of his name. Here is wisdom. Let him that hath understanding count the number of the beast: for it is the number of a man; and his number is 666.”

I went into the bathroom and searched my body for mark. I wish I could have found none, except I had a mole in my left armpit, so I wrote. “I’ve looked all over my body for the mark of the beast. Do these third nipples mean anything.”

The ex-model from Paris was swift with her response. “It is very dangerous to mock the holy word of God.”

I understood that god had a testy sense of humor. My fate was eternal damnation under the fiery rain of Satan and I replied, “My brimstone umbrella is open.”

“The Bible talks about”scoffers” and it says you will be held in account for “every” idle word. Just imagine for one second, try, you your puny scoffing little self in front of God almighty who loved you enough to sacrifice His only begotten Son, and you are blithely spitting in His face? Stop commenting its better for you. Get down on your knees for the time is nigh and repent. Soon all Hell will break loose, remember my words and pray to Jesus when the time comes, because it says if you repent and call on His name he will save you. But if you die before this you will go to hell. Hell is not a place that God created for man, he made Hell for Satan and his minions, but as man chooses to follow Satan instead of His creator, he must go to be with Satan. Jesus says either you are with me or against me, and it also says that Fools say there is no God, where God says His existence is apparent in His works. Everyday you get to live a life that is GOD given and you are not able appreciate this? It is a terrible thing to scoff at the sacrifice of Christ, believe me God is alive, He loves you, and your pride which is blinding you, because God wants us humble, as Jesus was, He was born in a stable. Listen Peter, don’t scoff at scripture you have no idea what you are doing it pains me to see your Superciliousness, I am feeling you this out of Christs love, otherwise why would I bother?”

She seems fairly serious about this, but I can’t get a date for the doom for her.

I looked up in the sky this morning and there was no chariot of fire. Only clouds, but if the ex-model from Paris is right one day I shall be properly humbled before the face of her god. Problem is that no such vengeful god could be mine.

Happy Beermas.

Not that I really want to hang out with Satan. He’s a bore too.

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