Speed for the Masses

China might have 700 million more people than America, however the Land of the Free and the Brave outweighs the Celestial Kingdom by a whopping 40% thanks to the obesity fad hitting America. The Communist Politiburo frustrated by the USA’s superiority in this department have launched a massive online campaign to sell Phentermine to the plumb imperialist couch potatoes. Spam is not as harmless as you think and I researched Phentermine through the power of Wikpedia.

“Phentermine is an appetite suppressant of the amphetamine and phenethylamine class.”


The goddamn Chinese don’t realize The stateside factories are working overtime to handle the ennui of teenagers born to fat parents, then again their target market are those overweight SUV-loving moms and dads.

“My SUV makes me look thin.”

But nothing takes off weight like a good speed binge.

“Would you like a Happy Meal?” the lady of the Mickie D counter will ask and you can answer with confidence, “I’ll have a crisp leaf of lettuce. No salt.”

Of course drugs are bad in America unless sold by Merck or Bayer or the CIA, hence the appeal of Phentermine.

“It’s a pharmaceutical.”

Not Ice, not crack, not coke.

FDA approved with these common symptoms

Increased blood pressure
Sense of well-being

I like the sense of well-being.

Nirvana online.

Despite the drug being a schedule IV drug under the Convention on Psychotropic Substances.

Skinny American thanks to the Commies.

The future will be ours.

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