Happy Ending – Dognapping Pattaya

Champoo my dog had been missing over a day. My wife said she had probably been stolen, but also suspected the little Tzit-Tzhu might have been left behind during my travels. To be honest I couldn’t remember when I had seen the dog last.


My wife and I handled Champoo’s disappearance with different temperaments.

I printed photos and distributed them to the motorsai taxi stands, ice cream drivers, and sum tam delivery guys with an offer of a 2000 baht reward. I also drove around the neighborhood looking for anyone preparing a dog BBQ. Typical farang running-around with no success.

My wife took the easy way out. Said Champoo was gone and dropped a sleeping pill.

When I tried to wake my wife yesterday morning, her skin was cold. At first I thought she had taken too many pills, but it was just the result of sub-arctic AC. She asked like Anna Nichol Smith was speaking through her. “Champoo come back?”

I shook my head.

She buried herself in sleep.

I went out looking again.

No Champoo.

I cried a little and told myself I’d find her.

I don’t usually lie to myself, but upon arriving to my soi I spotted a familiar little body in the street.


My next-door neighbor had found her at the corner store. I thanked her profusely and gave Champoo a beating with my slipper.

Bad dog.

My 3 year-old daughter thought it was all too funny.

“Mah Bah. Pah bah.”

Yeah, that’s me and Champoo. Crazy.


By the way my wife thinks I left the dog someplace and she found her way back home. Take a look at Champoo please. Dumber than a bucket of mud. She went off for a fling with a stud dog. Slut.

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