My Hero GW Bush

I avoided the Viet-nam War by staying in college. GW Bush joined the Air Force Reserve and hung out with strippers in Dallas. I snorted cocaine and drove drunk. GW did the same thing, except he was caught for one or two of them, so we’re not so different, especially since we both say stupid things.

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Luckily my idiotic comments aren’t recorded or written down thanks to the advice of my diamond dealing mentor, Manny Winick, who once caught me writing a ‘sorry’ letter to my mistress, Mrs. Carolina. “Never put anything in writing you wouldn’t want to see on the front page of the NY Times and say even less.”

He tore the letter to shreds. Mrs. Carolina and I are still friends.

GW Bush should only be so lucky, but he speaks his mind.

Top 10 Bushisms 2006

10) “I would say the best moment of all was when I caught a 7.5 pound largemouth bass in my lake.” –on his best moment in office, interview with the German newspaper Bild am Sonntag, May 7, 2006

9) “You know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror.” –interview with CBS News’ Katie Couric, Sept. 6, 2006

8) “Anybody who is in a position to serve this country ought to understand the consequences of words.” –interview with Rush Limbaugh, Nov. 1, 2006
7) “I think — tide turning — see, as I remember — I was raised in the desert, but tides kind of — it’s easy to see a tide turn — did I say those words?” –asked if the tide was turning in Iraq, Washington, D.C., June 14, 2006

6) “I will not withdraw, even if Laura and Barney are the only ones supporting me.” –talking to key Republicans about Iraq, as quoted by Bob Woodward

5) “I said I was looking for a book to read, Laura said you ought to try Camus. I also read three Shakespeares. … I’ve got a eck-a-lec-tic reading list.” –interview with NBC’s Brian Williams, New Orleans, La., Aug. 29, 2006

4) “The only way we can win in Iraq is to leave before the job is done.” –Greeley, Colo., Nov. 4, 2006

3) Maria Bartiromo: “I’m curious, have you ever googled anybody? Do you use Google?”

President Bush: “Occasionally. One of the things I’ve used on the Google is to pull up maps. It’s very interesting to see — I’ve forgot the name of the program — but you get the satellite, and you can — like, I kinda like to look at the ranch. It remind me of where I wanna be sometimes.” –interview with CNBC’s Maria Bartiromo, Oct. 24, 2006

2) “See, the irony is that what they need to do is get Syria to get Hezbollah to stop doing this shit, and it’s over.” –chomping on a dinner roll while talking about the Middle East crisis with British Prime Minister Tony Blair at the G8 summit, St. Petersburg, Russia, July 17, 2006

1) “I’m the decider, and I decide what is best. And what’s best is for Don Rumsfeld to remain as the Secretary of Defense.” –Washington, D.C. April 18, 2006

Most recently the little midget Danny DeVito, albeit a funny midget, called the president a numbnuts.

Barbara Walters, icon of ass-kissing interviewers, said, “That’s the president.”

Danny wasn’t deterred and continued to ridicule the C-inC.

After all it a free country and you can say what you want even if what sounds stupid is true.

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